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I am currently serving my iddat in'sha Allah in either a khula or a talaq. I think I am in an irrevocable iddat as my husband divorced me twice before years ago. Last week my husband informed me that If I desire a khula I may take it and he will grant it. I htought hard about it and prayed istakhara. I do not regret my decision to take it and it is as if I have been released from a cruel slavery. I am so relieved to not be his wife any longer Sub'han Allaah! Anyways, when I ask my husband for the khula he said I could have it but there was no transferring of anything between us physically or in discussion. His intention was definitely to allow me to terminate the marriage and agree with it. I just assumed because its a khula he will keep my dowry which was the Tafisr Ibn Kathir collection. Is this a divorce or a khula? And my iddat is three periods )because I am in my twenties( no matter which it is right?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
The statement of your husband ‘you could have it’ in response to you asking him for Khul’ is not a clear acceptance of Khul’ on his part, rather this depends on what your husband intended by this statement. If he meant that he gives you Khul’ without compensation, then the juristsdiffered in opinion in regard to Khul’ without compensation. Indeed,Ibn Qudaamahreported their difference of opinion and said after quoting a narration fromImaam Ahmad:“It appears that this means that Khul’ without compensation is valid, and this is the view of Maalikbecause it is a termination of the marriage, so it is valid without compensation, like divorce. That is because Khul’ is basically legislated in case a wife hates her husband and wishes to separate from him, and so she asks him to release her, and if he accepts, then what is meant by Khul’ is achieved, so it is valid, in the same way as if it was with compensation…”Then he )Ibn Qudaamah( mentioned the other narration fromImaam Ahmadand said:“According to this narration, Khul’ is not valid except with compensation, and if he )the husband( utters it without compensation and he intended divorce, then it is a revocable divorce as it can be considered as a metaphor of divorce. However, if he did not intend divorce with it, then it is nothing. This is the view of Abu Haneefah and Ash-Shaafi’i.”
However, it appears that the first opinion is closer to the truth because of its strong evidence. Based on this, if your husband had intended by his statement ‘you could have it’ to initiate Khul’ with this wording, and he did not intend just a promise to do it, then this Khul’ is valid and it is one revocable divorce as we have already clarified in Fatwa 88502.
The waiting period of a woman in Khul’ is like the waiting period of a divorced woman according to the preponderant opinion of the scholars.
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Najimudeen M
AOL, I hope you will be fine by the grace of ALLAH and also with my prays. Hazrat my question is that my wife has gone to thier mother home since last 4 1/2 months and wants KHULA I and my family contacted with her and her family but all of them refused to her live with me whereas my wife loves my too much and never be with out me same as my conditions. after refusing my Khula descision she goes to Court and wants Khula and get it in my absence. I have reached at Court after half an hour once she appeal to court Judge ordered in her favour and once I have talked with Judge Sir, I'm ill thats why I'm not able to come and my lawyer already appeal you pls. extend attend but you not extended and give order in her favour why? Judge told you are late now you have 90 days for peach up with your wife other wise your marriage will dissolove after 90 days. My laws family didn't meet me with my wife and she are living other place in thier mother home Sir, my question is that as per Islamic's law in the absence of husband court grant KHULA's order or not? How can I save their marriage bcz my laws family has magic on my wife thats why she is hating me and before leaving my home she never be without me and now she doesn't want to see me and listen my name. Thanks & JAZZAKALLAH Wasalam, Azeem
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
There are some considerations in this case that make us unable to give you a definite answer about it. That is because this case has been taken to the judge, and the Muslim judge is more proper to study such cases.
In addition to this, you mentioned that Khul’ was given in your absence and that the request of your attorney to adjourn the case due to your sickness was not accepted. Also, you mentioned that the judge gave you a chance for reconciliation but at the same time he gave your wife Khul’. Hence, it appears that there are some contradictions.
Therefore, we are going to give some general answers.
1- It is not permissible for a wife to go out of her husband’s home without his permission except in case of necessity, otherwise she is considered a disobedient wife. The Sharee’ah clarified the methods to follow in treating a disobedient wife and this is discussed in Fataawa 91788and 85402.
2- It is not lawful for a wife to ask for Khul’ without a sound reason. It is confirmed that the Prophetsaid: “The wives who ask for Khul’ are the hypocrites.” ]Ahmad and Abu Daawood[
3- It is not permissible for the family of the wife to urge their daughter to ask her husband for Khul’; rather, they should endeavor to reconcile between them as much as possible. On the other hand, it is not permissible to accuse the family of the wife of having done magic to their daughter except with evidence.
In any case, we advise you to try as much as possible to reconcile because reconciliation is good. In this regard, you may seek the help of some righteous people who may influence the family of your wife as Allaah may facilitate reconciliation thanks to them. If reconciliation takes place, then praise be to Allaah, otherwise it is better to divorce her. It is also permissible for you to ask for compensation in return for divorcing her if you are not the reason for her asking for Khul’.
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NajimudeeN M
As salamualaikum,my sister got married to a muslim,divorcee teacher by profession the reason he gave for the divorce was he alleged that the girl was squarely to be blamed and as usual disown any misdoing by him or his family and said they are innocent my dad did send some relatives to confirm if the divorce was final some communication gap was there clear complete picture did not evovled )i work abroad(.My sister got married in 1998 things went bad in laws treated her badly abused hit and the real secret is the boy has sexual problem impotence or erectional dysfunction which was hidden and the reason for his previous divorce.he is dependent on drugs to have errection.by allah's grace my sister got pregnant and delivered a male child in 2000 now as per islamic ruling if a person has a sexual intercourse even once he cannot be said as impotence .But fact is he cannot perform his sexual duties satisfactoril & they do sihr too.Also since almost 7 to 8 years major part of the married life is been seperate the boy is not at all concern about anything no communication no enquiry about the child no financial support total aleniation from wife relation is ZERO now what is the status of marriage not in touch how is khula possible if he is not ready to divorce my sister or take her back with dignity and not abuse her right being totally disregarded if the husvand cannot defend his wife from being illtreated by sisters father in law nothing worked all efforts were futile reconciliation seems impossible how to nullify the marriage my sister is staying in my house since last few years Allah hafiz
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
The fact that the two spouses are apart from each other – even if it is for a long period of time – does not mean that the marital bond came to an end. Hence, if the husband did not divorce his wife or a judge did not rule that they are divorced, then their marriage is still valid; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 82732.
On the other hand, this husband is Islamically required to have good marital relationship with his wife; Allaah Says )what means(: }And live with them in kindness.{]Quran 4:19[ Among living with her in kindness, is fulfilling her desires. As regards him leaving her like this, neither divorced nor married, then this is not permissible. Therefore, he should be advised either to keep her in kindness or divorce her in kindness as Allaah ordered in His Book.
Also, among living with her in kindness, is that he fulfills his obligation of spending on her and on his children from her and if he is negligent in this regard without having a sound reason, then he is sinful.‘Abdullaah Ibn ‘Umarnarrated that the Prophetsaid: “It is enough a sin for a person not to provide means of sustenance to those whom he is obliged to support.” ]Ahmad and Abu Daawood[
Moreover, if a husband does not spend on his wife the obligatory spending for a given period, then this does not render him exempted from this spending; rather, it becomes a loan that he is obliged to pay according to the view of the majority of the scholarswhether or not he had a sound reason for leaving her. As regards the spending on the children, it is also permissible to ask the father for a reimbursement if the one who spent on them did so with the intention of asking the father to reimburse him for doing so; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 85012.
In any case, if a husband did not spend on his wife, or that she is harmed because of him not having sexual intercourse with her, then it becomes permissible for her to take the case to an Islamic judge so that the latter would order the husband to fulfill his obligations towards his wife or rather divorce her from him even in return for compensation that she pays to him. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 89039.
As regards the mistreatment which you mentioned on the part of this wife’s in-laws and them transgressing her, if it is true, then this is evil and the husband should have repelled their harm from her.
Finally, it should be noted that the wife has the right in a separate accommodation as we clarified in Fatwa 84608.
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