Islamic Marriage Articles, - Marriage Ceremony in Islam: the Basics

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The Wali:
Awali(guardian) of the bride is necesssary to represent her in concluding the contract. The wali is a male relative who would be her guardian if she were a minor, for example her father. However, if he is not available, a brother, uncle, grandfather etc. will suffice. If none of these exist then a Muslim ruler or judge, and if they do not exist then a prominent leader of the Muslim community (seeFiqh us sunnah, Syed Sabiq, Sar al-Kitab al Arabi, Beirut, 2nd ed, 1973, vol 2 page 120).
"No marriage contract is valid without a wali." - Tirmidhi and Abu Dawood
"A woman may not act for another in concluding a marriage contract, and a woman may not conclude her own marriage contract." - Ibn Majah and Daraqutni
The Offer and Acceptance:
Both offer and acceptance must be explicit in mentioning the word marriage (or any other word in any language implying a similar situation). Both statements should be made at the same sitting, i.e. one party to the other.
The Bride's Agreement:
The bride must be agreeable to concluding the marriage by her wali. This agreement should be specific to marrying a specific man and all other conditions, if any, must be agreed upon also.
The Witnesses:
At least two Muslim male witnesses are required or one male and two females - all of them having reached the age of puberty and being of good character.
The Sadaq:
TheSadaqorMahr(dower) is a required marriage gift given by the groom to the bride. It represents his commitment to take care of all the family expenses including her personal needs…"And give women their dower as a free gift."(surah 4 verse 4)
Sadaq may be money or in kind, but it should be specified in its kind and quantity. It may be paid in full at the time of the marriage contract, or postposed until a definite or indefinite date in the future. That which is deferred becomes due upon divorce. The value of Sadaq can be anything from $1 upward (and must be agreed upon by both parties).
The Procedure:
1.Witnesses and guests take their seats.
2.The wali of the bride and the groom sit facing each other, close to the witnesses so that they can be seen and heard by the witnesses.
3.A learned man delivers a short ceremonial speech (see the khutbah at the end of this article).
4.Then the wali of the bride addresses the groom with the following words or something similar:
"In the name of Allah the Merciful, the Mercy giving, Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and Prayer and Peace be upon the Prophet Muhammed, his family and the companions.
I marry to you my daughter (sister/niece etc - mention the full name) whom I represent, in accordance with Islamic Law and the tradition of the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) and for the Sadaq agreed between us." (details of the sadaq and method of payment may be mentioned).
The groom answers:
In the name of Allah the Merciful, the Mercy giving, Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and Prayer and Peace be upon the Prophet Muhammed, his family and the companions.
I accept to marry the woman you represent, in accordance with Islamic Law and the tradition of the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) and for the Sadaq agreed between us." (details of the sadaq and method of payment may be mentioned).
[This offer and acceptance should be declared in the presence of the witnesses, Allah is the best of witnesses. By this the marriag eis concluded and the bride and groom become husband and wife].
5.To make the marriage publically it is reccomended to have a walimah. The Prophet (pbuh) saw a trace of yellow colouring on Abd al Rahman and asked,"What is this?"He answered, I got married. The Prophet (pbuh) said,"May Allah make it a blesing for you. Make a walimah even with only a sheep."- Bukhari, Muslim and others.
6.The best way to congratulate the bride and the groom is to say:"May Allah make it a blessing for you and a blessing to you together with all that is good."- Tirmidhi, Abu Dawood
The Marriage Khutbah:
[This is not essential; the mariage will be legal without it; however, it is Sunnah to have a Khutbah].
Praise be to Almighty Allah, the Sustainer of the Worlds Whom we ask help and pardon. We seek refuge in Allah from the evils within ourselves and from our evil actions. He whom Allah guides no one can lead astray and he who He leaves in error has no one to guide him. I testify that there is no diety but Allah and that Muhammed is His servant and His messenger.
Almighty Allah has created humanity, male and female, each in need of another, and has established the institution of marriage as a means of uniting the souls in a blessed bond of love leading to their pleasure and happiness in a way advantageous to humankind.
The Quran says,"It is He Who has created man from water: then has He established relationships of lineage and marriage: for your Lord has power (over all things). "(25:54)
And He reminds us of His great favours:"And among His signs is that He created for you of yourselves spouses that you may live in joy with them, and He has set between you love and mercy. Surely in that are signs for those who reflect."(30:22)
And Peace and Blessing be upon His great and beloved Prophet and last Messenger Muhammed, who emphatically urged Muslims to marry. He said:"Young men, those of you who can afford to marry should do so. Marriage is the best check for lustful eyes and an effective help to maintain chastity."
Brothers and sisters, at this auspicious moment, we are uniting in the bond of marriage and obedience to the guidance of our Creator and in obdeience to the practice of our beloved Prophet (pbuh), our brother (his name) and sister (her name) who have decided to live together as husband and wife, sheltered with the blessings of Almighty Allah and His divine Benevolence. May Allah fill their lives with joy and may He grant them peace, health and prosperity. May they always live together in an atmosphere eof tranquility and never diminishing love and tender regard for each other.

Islamic Marriage Articles, - Planning Your Wedding: The 10 Biggest Pre-Wedding Mistakes

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Even the smartest, most on-top-of-things couple can make mistakes during wedding planning. Here are the 10 things you should keep an eye on before saying I do.
1. Blowing off your budget
It costs a lot of money to put on a wedding. Many excited brides start booking vendors and making purchases without having a real budget, and then they're shocked to discover they've spent all of their money (or their parents' money) and still don't have half the things they need. If you bounce checks, don't have the money to pay your deposits, or make your final payments past your vendors' deadlines, your wedding will not happen as you have planned. The flowers won't be delivered, your cake will not be decorated, and the band will not play all night -- unless you pay up. Planning a wedding is serious business. Make a budget and keep track of your expenditures.
2. Ordering the wedding gown and/or bridesmaid dresses late
If going for a traditional bridal gown, brides need to place their orders six to eight months before their weddings. Most gowns are made to order; if you wait too long before your wedding date to make your selection, the gown simply may not be ready in time. Bridesmaid dresses should also be decided upon during the same time period, but only after the gown has been selected. You want to make sure your ladies have enough time to get measured and find accessories.
3. Procrastinating on that prenuptial...
It is a reality these days that people -- even brides -- have assets they want to protect. (This is particularly prevalent now that there are so many second marriages where a bride or groom may have children to whom they want their assets to go in case of death.) Leaving the discussion of a prenuptial agreement until the week before the wedding is a sure-fire way to increase the stress level by ten thousand percent -- and endanger the impending marriage. So deal with this potentially sticky issue months in advance( Zawaj.com Editor: this applies equally to any provision that the groom or bride may want to include in the marriage contract).
4. Messing up the marriage license
There are so many rules around marriage licenses that brides are bound to make mistakes. Be sure to investigate time restrictions well in advance of your wedding date. Get your license 31 days before in some states -- and you won't be able to legally marry on your wedding day because it may be valid for only 30 days. Go for your license the day before your wedding and you may not get it in time, because some states have a 48-hour waiting period. Another common mess-up if you're remarrying is not having official divorce papers in time to get the certificate.
5. Booking guest hotel rooms too late
Brides often leave blocking out hotel rooms for out-of-town guests until the last minute. If you're marrying in a city (particularly one where conventions take place) or in a resort town and you don't investigate hotel availability in advance, you can literally end up with not a single room for any of your guests to stay in. Your wedding might go on -- but no one will be able to attend. Reserve a room block as early as possible, up to a year in advance.
6. Inviting too many guests
Make sure your guest list and your reception site match numbers-wise. You can't invite 400 people assuming only 250 will RSVP with a yes -- because if 300 happen to say yes, you may have to turn 50 away at the door. Sites can't just add 10 more tables, as fire laws limit the maximum number of people in any room at one time. To avoid this, assume eighty percent will respond yes and limit your guest list accordingly.
7. Last-minute beauty blunders
Many brides think that scheduling chemical peels the week before their weddings will leave their skin looking angelic on their big days. Others think having their teeth bleached within days of their weddings will leave those pearly whites sparkling. Thinking of tanning the day before your wedding? Think again: You may end up with blisters instead of sun-kissed skin. Last-minute beauty treatments can lead to breakouts, mistakes, or -- even worse -- serious infections. Start a long-term beauty regimen months before the big day and focus on natural and common-sense measures such as eating a healthy diet and exercising, or you could risk ruining all the hard work you've done to make your wedding -- and photos -- perfect. (Never mind putting your health and happiness at risk for the most important day of your life.)
8. Underpaying postage on invites
You'd be surprised how many brides just stick a stamp on their invites and drop them in a letterbox. All but a few wedding invitations require additional postage. The postal service will not take pity on you -- your invites will be returned (and rubber-stamped with that ugly "insufficient postage" message) -- and it will take at least two weeks (never mind the additional $$) to get them back out the door. Be sure to get one complete invitation weighed at the post office before purchasing all your stamps.
9. Ignoring religious restrictions
If you plan on marrying in a house of worship, you need to abide by the rules. Wearing inappropriate attire or not completing pre-wedding requirements is grounds for your officiant to stop your wedding before it begins. As soon as you get engaged, be sure to contact your house of worship to find out about any potential issues. Some houses of worship won't let you marry on certain holy dates; make sure to check your wedding date with your officiant before putting down any deposits for your reception site or vendors.
10. Ignoring weather warnings
Brides marrying outdoors often test fate and just wish for the best when it comes to bad weather. Always have a backup plan -- you may not have a place to marry at all, or your guests (and you) may be in misery at the hands of Mother Nature. Temperatures normally around the balmy 70-degree mark may unexpectedly turn into a boiling 100-degree debacle; be sure to have outdoor air-conditioning. A hurricane, flashflood, or gale force winds may visit on your wedding day; make sure you have an interior alternative or a tent as a back-up location.

Islamic Marriage Articles, - South African Couples Draw Up Own Marriage Contracts

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Negotiating Issues in the Marriage Contract
In South Africa, some Muslim couples are no longer just signing the nikkah register to solemnise their marriage in Islam. They choose instead to negotiate and sign their very own marriage or nikkah contract.
The couples at three recent weddings attended by this reporter each did it differently. While one of the couples decided to enter into a civil contract, the other two couples took a personal interest in their marriage contract as opposed to leaving it to a theological group. They had negotiated on issues regarding matrimonial property regime, the divorce process, custody, polygamy, sexual relationship and even relations with in-laws. This they did taking the Shari’ah and their personal circumstances and needs into consideration.
Although uncertain about its legal status, they felt that they at least will have some common understanding of their rights and obligations. al-Qalam has since learnt that the Muslim marriage contract is now recognised by the law.
According to Maulana Mohammed Saeed of the Jamiatul Ulema Transvaal, signing the traditional marriage register confirms the solemnising of the marriage contract. It is not a specific contract negotiated between the partners. Such a contract that regulates their marriage is separate.
Marriage Contract is New Concept for South African Muslims
While the concept of a marriage contract for most South African Muslims is foreign, having a marriage contract spelling out the terms of marriage was not an unusual concept during the early Muslim era as evidenced by Sukayna bint Husayn, the great granddaughter of the Prophet (s) and A'isha bint Talha, the niece of A'isha (r.a.).
Presently, many Muslim countries, including Iran, Malaysia, Indonesia, Tunisia and even where Muslim are in the minority like India have some kind of marriage contract that couples enter into. In some of these countries marriage laws are continually reformed. According to a report by Times of India, "The All India Muslim Personal Law Board will soon release a marriage contract which will revolutionise the status of married Muslim women." Reforms around mehr, triple talaq and polygamy had been included.
In South Africa, however, Muslim marriages were not recognised by the law, so issues of dissolution, custody and maintenance were taken to an informal judiciary, usually a theological body, to be resolved. The result was a sometimes messy process, which left couples uncertain and insecure.
The Experiences of Three Couples
Al-Qalam spoke to two couples who had recently chosen to negotiate and sign a marriage contract.
Mohammed felt that the present process was inadequate, and that there was a need to spell out certain provisions in the contract to protect his and his wives rights. His wife Farhana became aware that terms and conditions could be stipulated in a marriage contract from her readings of Islamic history. For her it was important to set the boundaries of their relationship, and state from the very outset what their positions there were on various issues, and what the partners understood their responsibilities to be.
Ruwaida also negotiated a marriage contract. She first heard about the existence of such a thing in Jordan, she felt it was needed to avoid problems in the future, and it was also important so that other people could become aware that there were other ways of securing their rights within a marriage.
While her husband was uncertain about the necessity for such a contract, believing that the Shari’ah takes care of the marriage contract, he nevertheless agreed to enter into a personalised contract.
Farhana and Ruwaida felt strongly that signing a marriage contract was important for women who have had to face the brunt of unfair rulings on the part of some ‘ulama.
Another Muslim couple that al-Qalam spoke to decided not to negotiate their own marriage contract, and opted for the South African civil marriage instead. For them it was unnecessary to re-negotiate what was already in law, although they admitted there was a gender bias in custody rulings. Their understanding of marriage contracts was that it was a tool used in early stages of Islamic history, when there was no legislation in place to deal with marital disputes.
This new innovation, while lauded by some, has been criticised by others. One Maulana felt that while it might be a good idea to draw up the marriage contract in this way, the contract was inadequate in that it was not possible for it to deal with issues important in a marriage like justice with rahmah, fikr, and love. Mohammed faced criticism at his wedding when one guest greeted him after the nikah and told him that the contract was "a whole lot of hog-wash."

Islamic Articles, -Blossom of the Youth - An Eye Opener

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Following is an Eye Opener Preface of the famous Book "Bahar-e-Shabab" by Hadrat Allama Maulana Shaykh Aleemuddin Siddiqui Qadiri Meerathi (Khalifa of Syeduna AlaHadrat Imam Ahmad Rida Khan Qadiri) written with extreme sincerity and honest concern towards to the youth of entire Islamic Ummah. A must must must read Book and specially the Preface! Hope you will read it yourself and share it with your contacts as well... JazakALLAH in Anticipation!
ALLAH SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala has blessed humankind with numerous powers and His (SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala) Wisdom has equipped man with the knowledge of using it. Although the Creator has given such knowledge to animals, there is a unique difference between humans and animals. Since humankind is the highest order of creation, the Creator has therefore blessed it with a special faculty of knowledge that makes it superior to other creation. ALLAH has equipped the human beings to use this knowledge creatively and also enhance it tremendously. Such ability is not found in the animal kingdom.
Nowadays, claims are made that man is advancing very rapidly and will soon reach the peak of perfection. Man’s advancements in technology, science, chemistry, discoveries, etc. has created a new dimension in this world. His speed of advancement is reaching the once untouchable frontiers of the Universe. His scientific advancement in technology is accomplishing that work in minutes which the physical hand could not do a hundred of years ago. The feet required years of laborious effort to cover distances while modern technology covers that in hours. In this scientific era, a train, a car and an aeroplane can traverse the globe in a matter of hours while in the past this was not physically possible. What the physical ears and eyes could hear was limited but today modern technology can hear and see objects millions of miles away. Televisions, telephones, telescopes, and wireless communications can capture images and sounds in a split of a second from the far and wide corners of the universe while some years ago this was regarded as impossible.
People generally regarded this as an incredible achievement for mankind. But if one carefully ponders over these special abilities and knowledge on which the West relies for its survival, then certainly, one will reach the conclusion that day by day man is not progressing, but in fact regressing. It is possible that one may refute this assumption by presenting proofs of man’s progress to the contribution of humanity. However, man’s special skills have also led to his destruction e.g. numerous types of drugs are researched and manufactured to protect and enhance these special skills of man. But these proofs are actually delusions which can be understood with a little thought.
The increase in numbers of an entity does not prove the increase of advancement or progress of that entity. A correct conclusion can be achieved after pondering carefully at all factors. For example, 200 years ago in a community of 100 thousand people, within 10 years it was found that there was an increase of 10 thousand perfectly healthy and strong people amongst them. On the contrary, nowadays there is not such a high rate of increase of healthy people in communities. In fact in a community of 100 thousand people, one will find the rate of a maximum of 20 or 25 thousand and that too, most of them are weak, sick and disable. Now would you sincerely classify this as an increase or decrease? Excessive sickness, weak physique and decrease in productivity abnormal to natural growth rate clearly proves that the productive sperm or special powers of the humankind were not only hindered in progress but also not protected as it should have been, otherwise such a situation would not have prevailed.
If a single seed is planted in the correct season and environment and cared for strictly according to the rules of cultivation, then there is a great hope of a healthy harvest. But if the same seed is unsystematically cultivated certainly there will be no seedling, crop or harvest. If by chance such seeds do sprout, then the crop will not be healthy and if by chance the crop is healthy and produces fruit, then this fruit will certainly not be healthy with a high rating quality.
The same applies to the seed of the human (sperm) when it is haphazardly thrown on infertile or polluted places or illegitimately planted. The end result of such transaction will indeed produce disastrous and non-progressive societies. There is no shortage of doctors and medications, yet there is a huge population of sick people seeking medical assistance. The situation of treatment and medication is similar to patching a hole with an old feeble piece of cloth to hide the hole or constantly topping oil in an engine with blown rings and bearings just to carry on moving. It is therefore most important on all sensible persons for the sake of salvation and protecting the real essence of man to formulate methods of correctly utilizing its special powers blessed by its Creator, ALLAH SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala.
وَاحْفَظْ مَنِيُكَ مَااسْتَطَعْتَ فَاِنَّهُ
مَاءُ الحَيوةِ يراقَ فيِ الاَرْحَامِ
Protect your sperm as much as you can for verily,
It is the water of life stored in the delicate womb.
By the virtue of my personal experience, I can safely say that if 100 sick young male and female come to me, I will find 99 of them suffering from the weakness of the same essence (sperm). Certain medications do tone and give it strength; and a prop offers help to one with a broken hip, but this provides short term help to the disturbed or contaminated real essence and characteristic of man. This short term help also depends on the extent of damage.
But as far as the concept of protecting and serving the purity of the human race is concerned, this is not possible by medication or instruments. In fact, in these disturbed times, the lives of people become senseless and bewildered when they correctly or incorrectly use their special powers. Thus, the theory of “Adolescence is Madness” comes to mind. The earnest contribution of an intelligent physician is that he, on the one hand, wisely treats his patients professionally and, on the other hand, inculcates moral ethics in the minds of the youth who are entangled in the stormy oceans of lust and temptations of adolescence. Always build a protective wall around a spring to contain and protect it so that everyone can benefit from its nourishment otherwise its water will go to waste. No matter how severe the storm of the ocean, a well trained pilot will steer his ship safely through it. If a river is controlled and channelled correctly, it will irrigate and nourish the lands with new life, but an unprotected river in a storm will burst its banks and destroy everything in its path like a wild animal on rampage.
In this modern age many Ministries (e.g. Health) are researching and formulating methods and chemicals to combat diseases and spending millions to achieve this. Every municipality is loaded with files of problems and thousand of workers and specialist are employed to solve them. But, is there any ministry or municipality of any country in the world that is concerned about the security and correct usage of the essence of man and the protection of its misuses? Are any governments of the worlds concerned about the contamination and sickness that are spreading because of the misuse of this divinely misused essence? Which country in the world is struggling to rectify or stop the corruption of abuse of the core of humankind that is destroying nations and threatening its future generations?
But alas! The think-tanks of governments are totally ignorant or careless of this important reality. A true and sincere person will be concerned and cry tears of blood when he sees the destruction of a nation and its youth. The reader will find the drops of these same tears of blood scattered in the contents of this book and this is my first step in the service of the present day youth and its future generation. The pages of this book are no illusions or fantasies nor are they theory or medical prescriptions or speculations of lawmakers and theories of scientists. They are sincere words from the depths of the heart soaked in pain and concern for the youth of the world.
May my words through the Lord of the Universe have a profound impact on the hearts of humankind. Oh Merciful ALLAH! Let these words be source of guidance for all those who are astray from Your righteous path... Aameen!!